February' 24

Aside from Rome, the legendary Romulus also founded the calendar, which, however, turned out to be the less successful invention. It comprised only ten months and was about sixty days shorter than the Earth’s circumnavigation of the Sun. As is customary in large and rigid organisations, a fix only came with a change in leadership. The second king of Rome, Numa Pompilius, offered a remedy in the form of two additional months – January and February.

He too was no prodigy of logic; his superstitions made him detest even numbers. But one month had to have an even number of days and February drew the short end of that stick. To justify February’s evenness, Numa dubbed it the month of misfortune and mourning for the deceased.

When the subsequent rulers of Rome discovered that even Numa’s calendar needed a ten-day extension, nobody wanted to prolong the month of grief. Instead, the inequality between the twelve brethren was exacerbated. Julius Caesar did give our black sheep an extra day, but only once every four years, turning it into a confusing month of varying lengths.

We therefore allowed ourselves to add a few February circles to your sock model. If we wish to continue the legacy of democracy, we cannot tolerate inequality, even among fairy-tale creatures. We must consider a calendar reform. For example, the Treasury of the Fellowship, Gustav Parsimsockius, suggests increasing the number of months and decreasing their length.